One Plus One Equals Three

My last Amazon order just came in, and I am so excited.

I got this book after an e-mail about it was forwarded to me...and I didn't even expect it to come in a handy, pocket-sized paperback binding!

And then, of course, there's the Drowsy Chaperone cast recording with extra-cheeky liner notes. I also finally got my very own copy of Jeffrey for six bucks.

Most importantly, I have been watching my new DVDs of "Animaniacs" and "Pinky and the Brain"; if anything, they have pretty much cleared up any speculation as to whether my short attention span was more nurture than nature.

Or, at least, why the words "One time, okay see, one time, Randy Beaman..." have permanently entered my vernacular alongside "Whaaaat?" and "Oh, hellooo."

Let's see: What should I note here? Oh yeah, the musical parodies. Here is a show I am finally able to fully appreciate, because it works on so many levels. I know a lot of people remember "Pinky" over "Animaniacs," but, screw it man! I liked the Warners better: I know Brain was wholly based on Orson Welles - and I was never able to truly adore the infamous "Yes, Always" episode until I was in college and heard that bootleg tape of Orson cursing out the people behind the booth of his frozen food commercial voiceover, when I decided to write my sophomore year film term paper on Welles- but never has there been a more perfect match between character, design, and voice talent than the Warner Brothers and their lethally cute Warner Sister, Dot. You've got Wakko, who is very much clearly based on Ringo Starr; Dot, whose voice is squeaky-cute but not-quite-annoying-enough to match her penchant for imitating Keane paintings and Mary Tyler Moore; and, my favorite, Yakko, who possesses one of those impossibly high tenor belts that don't ever seem to exist in this universe.

Sure, there's enough mindless violence and uncanny jokes to please the underage set. You want adult references? I counted Sweeney Todd, Apocalypse Now, Persona, The Seventh Seal, The Day the Clown Cried, Goodfellas, The Godfather, Phyllis Diller, Urkel, Swedish neutrality, Ray Charles, Gilbert and Sullivan, Termite Terrace, The Doors, Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse, Meadowlark Lemon, Jonny Quest, Camelot, "Wayne's World," George Burns, Baryshnikov's defection from Communist Russia, The Agony and the Ecstasy, Perry Como, Brian's Song, Bob Hope, and Burns and Schreiber, among many others.

And the fact that there is "Chicken Boo" fan fiction out there definitely raises speculation of a much different nature.

What I'm especially digging about this set are the Broadway parodies: Not just the fact that nearly all the characters, especially the Warners, can very well break into musical numbers at the drop of a hat. They did musical episodes that were flat-out-freakin' hilarious. It seems as if any character on the show can fit into a musical theatre idiom. Par example: As excited as I am that I finally "get" "Goodfeathers," I'm pretty jazzed that I finally know what "La Behemoth" starring the Hip Hippos is actually supposed to be a parody of, too.

Lest we forget "Mouse of La Mancha," which parodies the musical and the awful movie adaptation to a T, and featuring my new favorite Pinky callback ever: "I think so, Brain, but why would Sophia Loren do a musical?"

My old favorite, in case you were wondering, was - now and forever - "I think so, Brain, but, me and Pippi Longstocking? What would the kids look like?"

Leave it to "Animaniacs" to do an entire cartoon ("H.M.S. Wakko") that uses pretty much the exact score of The Pirates of Penzance to explain why cartoon characters pull random objects out of the air. Or "West Side Pigeons," with the Goodfeathers doing West Side Story, complete with the "T'kiyah" opening montage and a Ray Liotta voiceover. And how about the cartoon that finally got me to appreciate the very first Broadway show I ever saw (even though I probably fell asleep during it!), "Les Miseranimals."

I feel like I remember that better than the actual show Les Miserables. Is that so wrong? Is it a crime? I can't even think of "Master of the House" anymore without thinking of "Bitten in the Butt." I thought, to this day, that Inspector Javert's name was actually Camembert. No joke, I had to re-listen to "Recitative" from Forbidden Broadway Volume 2 just to remember what the actual plot of the show is. I cannot tell you what "Dig Down, Dig Deep, Les Miseranimals" is supposed to be a parody of, even though I can hum the frickin' tune.

I can't believe I even remember the Rita songs. And I think I know why: Rita the Cat was, for better or for worse, my very first highly impressionable exposure to Bernadette Peters. Until I was old enough to see Pennies from Heaven, I never once made that elusive connection to "At the end of the road is the city of light," and Lily St. Regis. Meanwhile, the very first time I saw Rain Man was traumatizing because every time Dustin Hoffman spoke, I kept laughing my ass off just thinking about Runt the Dog.

This will definitely tide me over until they release the inevitable "Citizen Brain" episode on the next round of DVDs.

You know, all of this this madness doesn't have to end here...What about "Pigeons on the Roof"? Hey. Spielberg! Bring on "Tiny Toon Adventures!" I happen to think "Grandma's Dead" is one of the funniest cartoons ever made: Way up there with "I Like to Singa!"

Let's forget that "Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain" ever happened.