Free full-size alto saxophone inside!!!

Ahh...wait? Did I still have a blog? The last time I checked, I was still well into the job search and planning out my future. A blog was never in the cards...now, that is sheer frivolity!

I am watching Turner Classic Movies right now. TCM has pretty much ruled most of my television-watching schedule, as far as I'm concerned. An American in Paris is on right now, and, while it's still one of my all-time favorite movie musicals, it sure could have used more monkeys.

And it sure beats the continuous White Christmas marathons they've been having otherwise. I'm so glad I left the hometown theatre scene as soon as I could, because, as it stands, we will be the absolute last theatre on earth to put on a production of White Christmas ever. And it really reinforces a lot of people's theories that I do, indeed, come from another planet. On the "falling behind the pop culture" spectrum, Kansas is somewhere in between Canada and Russia. It should probably count more as a planet than, I don't know, a gulag archipelago?

I am not one for holiday cheer. I never was. I hated Striking 12. Unless they start playing "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses at some point during the season, or even "The 12 Days of Christmas" by Bob and Doug McKenzie, I call it a bum deal. Thanksgiving, likewise, is not my favorite holiday. It's every little piggy's favorite, but not mine. Probably because it just doesn't make sense to have such a big meal so early in the day. And while we might be, quite possibly the only family in the history of earth that eats dinner at 3:00, rest assured, we are still trying to figure out how most of the people who did show up at our Thanksgiving feast are actually related to us. Maybe Long Island is a gulag.

At another end of the spectrum, I saw two Broadway shows in the last week. I think we just decided to forgo the usual "Thanksgiving movie" -- either because a Broadway show is more exhilarating than a movie after a logy Turkey Day, and this is New York City, or my fam still won't forgive me for dragging them to see Sideways a few Thanksgivings back.

Or the new Chris Guest movie is getting lackluster reviews. Say it isn't so! I haven't been this jazzed for a new movie since Return of the King!

We saw Company and Spamalot. And I'll spare you most of the gory details for now. I am still mentally processing how I really felt about Company, for a random variety of reasons.

First of all, the acting really ran the gamut in this show from "brilliant" to "suck," with "suck," more often than not, evenly spread around each of the book scenes. And I know this was a show where the actors were hired from all kinds of backgrounds (opera, straight-up drama, cabaret, the underground scene), because the talent search becomes so specialized. Like Sweeney Todd before it, the actors all play instruments, and there is no orchestra. I think the poster could have used some work, because not a single person in the cast is holding an instrument: false advertising!

I have to give mad props to the woman who played Sarah in this show. I didn't think I'd actually be using the phrase "mad props" in a blog entry, let alone one about a hoity-toity intellectual Broadway play, but she deserves that and much more. She was the only one representing the estrogenal side of the show who actually seemed like she had a personality. I don't know what it is about this show, or the context of the time it was written, or the people who even wrote it, but it struck me as weird that all of the women were either doormats or ice queens. And I know the whole show is supposed to be filtered through the way Bobby sees it in his mind, and how he views his friends' married relationships. It just strikes me as odd. Especially in light of the fact that the actor who played Bobby recently came out of the closet. I'd probably refer to it as "the elephant in the room," but then the 3 people in Peoria who had actually heard of him would have been sorely mistaken.

Although, I should also shout-out the guys who played Larry and David (curb your enthusiasm, folks; all of the characters in this show have blando, Americana names). They also seemed like intriguing human beings, made the most of the material, sang beautifully, played the hell out of their respective instruments, and connected with the audience. Or, at least, this one lonely member of it. "David" was too cute. I wanted to give him a nice shoulder rub.

It’s kind of weird that I’m singling out the husbands for praise. They had one of the weakest numbers in the show, “Have I Got a Girl for You.” They just sort of stood in place while taking turns playing various brass instruments in a line. How can you not have fun singing about Sassarack slings and the kama sutra? Man!

That guy who played Harry, though, was a crack-up. Such great comic timing. He just played the character as wonderfully hilarious as he could have. And scored. John O'Hurley meets Alan Thicke in an ill-fitting sweater and khakis. His singing, too was also a beautiful and soulful alternative to Charles Kimbrough's yawning on the original CD. Somebody get this guy his own game show on the Family Channel!

Otherwise, the show was kind of a massive downer: Dark costumes, no set, few lights, and this really took me some time to get it through to myself. This is experimental theatre. It's one of those shows that only seems fun to do, but when you watch it, man; you really feel like you should be "getting" more than what it is out of it. Every other prop is invisible. It isn't like Sweeney Todd, where you see Patti LuPone splashing around a bucket of blood with all the glee of a six-year-old, or Billy the mean boy in Carrie. It's as if the actors have to be static with their movements and the way they deliver their songs; every other step must be massively symbolic of something else. And, while some of it works, some of it has to work on some level...it just doesn't. The actors are either stuck behind intstruments, or forced to wander around aimlessly with them. And those Office Max(TM) swivel chairs and plexiglas platforms sure didn't help either. Which meant a lot of making shit up just to cover the loose ends. Some things only worked once, but the other things just dragged on and on and on...

Good idea: Having the actress who plays Jenny wander around her husband aimlessly, while he's playing the cello and singing "Sorry-Grateful," and she's playing the violin.

Bad idea: Having the girlfriends play alto saxes OFF-KEY.

Also, the creepy, Gestapo-like lighting effect in "Side by Side."

Okay, I've never seen Company. From what I understand. The original version has Michael Bennett choreography, cool retro costumes, and Broadway razzle-dazzle. There is no razzle-dazzle in this version of Company, because there is no choreography. Not a lot of rhythm and feeling, either. Or pretty much anything related to "movement" other than the office swivel chairs and the stiffly marching around. But I was listening to music on my computer, and "Tick-Tock" came on. I guess that was my feeling with Company to begin with. If a Broadway show isn't exciting or different from what is out there, it isn't worth performing. And this show is exciting and different: It just isn't very happy. Also, no electric guitars. I'm still glad I saw it over the preview weeks so I could formulate my own opinions before the crits get around to eviscerating/jazzing it. It really was a nice show with some beautiful moments (like "Marry Me a Little" and "Sorry-Grateful), but, for the most part, it dragged. And the costumes and hair were the ugliest I have ever seen on a Broadway stage. Not counting Larry's pimpin' velvet jacket, of course.

And Sarah's necklace. I hope it wasn't magnetic. What, with all those flutes on the stage...

Also, the funeral flowers were a nice, symbolic touch. There was a woman in the show who didn't do much except stroke them and put ribbons on the various real props in the show. She also had a small ribbon on the back of her fugly dress that seemed in serious danger of falling off. You'd normally worry about a dancer tripping over that ribbon, but I'd be more concerned about an errant cellist forced to march around that proscenium stage.

I had to excuse myself for a good cry after that show.Sure, it wasn't "Tick Tock," Donna McKechnie, Vocal Minority Company...but it was something. Overall, it seemed cathartic, interesting, and innovative. And I so hoped someone would bust out the farfisa jazz organ. Alas. Also, the final moment during "The Ladies Who Lunch" where the woman who was singing it kept yelling, "ROIDS! ROIDS! ROIDS!" That baffled and interested the audience at the same time. Well done, Company.

If you want to hear how "You Could Drive a Person Crazy" sounds with someone who can actually play the alto sax, click here. Also? "Cantina Band" on their Star Wars tribute CD.

Spamalot, meanwhile, is a show I have already seen. Unlike Company, my dad was kvelling about this for a few days. I was just happy to see colors again. And dancing. Lots and lots of dancing.

I was never a fan of the "lots of great guy roles, one diva and the Rockettes" structure in musical comedies that has become pretty much widespread with this, The Producers, and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Luckily, Marin Mazzie played the Lady of the Lake and, although much different than Sara Ramirez, she brings a nice interpretation to the role.

Jonathan Hadary plays King Arthur, and Martin Moran is Sir Robin. The rest of the cast is more or less made up of unknowns. It's not like in Company, where some of the people seem a little too inexperienced to be on the stage, but they needed to serve some purpose in the show anyway. It's both good and bad: Good because they aren't names, and get to play the lead roles anyway; bad because you get the feeling that almost anyone can be plugged into the role, because the name recognition stems from Monty Python and Spam. Not really anyone/thing else of note.

Here's what I appreciated about seeing Spamalot again: The cast didn't seem too familiar with Python as a whole. And it was really like a fresh version of the show, because they interpreted these iconic characters and lines and bits fully as their own. I don't expect anyone to grow up on Holy Grail and do a pitch-perfect Brother Maynard. I'm usually a comedy snob about these things, but I've realized that I don't really mind as long as the final product is still funny. It's like "Marry Me a Little." Even if an alto sax is off-key, there really is no way you can screw up that song. And I mean that sincerely.

Post title swiped from this classic 'toon.

That's extracurricularrific!

ETA: Yes, the Comments Board, she is no more. I was so hoping Fred Rose (pictured, above left) would post a taking-up on my offer to give him a backrub, but, alas...