Havoc Answers Reader Mail
Or, Infrequently Asked Questions:
I know you write about theatre on this blog, but you seem to hate just about every movie you see. What was the last movie you saw? Did you like it?
I saw the quite smashing British comedy Mrs. Henderson Presents. Christoper Guest, Will Young, and lots of bawdy musical numbers? How about, yes, please! It’s a shame they don’t make movies like this in the states anymore. We could use more burlesque.
Why don't you like the saxophone trio in Company? What makes you think you have any right to comment on their playing?
Because I played the saxophone for more than two years in middle/high school band, that's why. And that was some poor-ass fingering!
Okay, I'll be nice about this and say that I don't expect the people in this show to have freaking degrees in their instruments-of-choice (although, according to the Playbill, at least two of them do...). They come from all kinds of backgrounds, and that's what makes the show richer: I have friends who concentrate in opera, drama, musical theatre, and composition, all of whom would be a very good fit for this type of show. Because they know how to play instruments forwards and backwards and wouldn't mind brushing up on that skill if it was in the name of a decent acting role. And the very diverse cast members in Company are certainly no exception to this sort of logic.
But having some of them learn their instruments at the last minute just to make a cute, cheeky song-and-dance number out of it kind of, sort of goes against what this concept is about. All creative people have numerous interests, and, if people were just so obsessed with only acting or singing, they probably wouldn't get anywhere in life. And I can understand why Kelly Grant, who plays Kathy, as well as the woman who played Sarah, would have an easier time learning the alto sax (since a flute essentially has the same fingerings and a much different embouchure) than the other two girls - although what would you make of switching from the violin, oboe, or tuba to something much, much different than those instruments? It could still take years just to get the fingerings right. Let alone how to blow into the thing. Or produce sound. It's still a misnomer in the Playbill. If those women "played" alto sax, then Raul Esparza also "played" the kazoo.
Furthermore, it's a safe bet that the actor who played David, was probably a clarinetist before this. Why? Because he played Ernst Ludwig in Cabaret (after Denis O'Hare, who played the clarinet in the original cast and made it a requirement for all subsequent actors in the Broadway role to learn the same instrument) and it is much easier to transition to both the alto sax (which has the same embouchure) and the tenor sax (which has the same fingerings and key notations). I know because I did. Actually, now that I think about it, Joyce Chittick did a darn fine job playing the alto sax in Cabaret, and she's rocked in other shows where she didn't have to play the instrument. So, why didn't they have the one actor in this show who played the clarinet learn the saxophone, too? Well, it probably wouldn't have looked nearly as sexy as the three girls dancing around with them - AND STILL SQUEAKING OFF-KEY.
Are you going to see Dreamgirls? And, if so, do you think Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, and Eddie Murphy are going to win Oscars?
I knew someone was going to ask this question.
I am waiting to see it, but there's almost no doubt in my mind that it will be my Christmas Day movie: Me being a Jew, and the usual Christmas movies of years past usually turning out to be total dreck (Kate & Leopold, The Phantom of the Opera). I feel, Dreamgirls might be a step up. Those marketing geniuses!
I have been wanting to see the movie. I am sick of the constant hype. And I like Dreamgirls the musical fine. If you asked me if it deserved to split even the 1982 Tony Awards with the fabulously dark Yeston/Kopit/Tune masterpiece, Nine, then I'd say...Yes. Yes, always. When are we going to get a movie version of Nine, anyway? I can't help but feel like Antonio Banderas' performance in the Broadway revival essentially amounted to his big screen test for that role.
As for the Oscars, we'll see about that. I know for a fact they'll probably get nominated, but Hudson might not win. Especially if some out-of-left-field Marcia Gay Harden in Pollock performance comes out of a blue. She probably will, only because the role was considered a lead on Broadway and won the Tony: and she probably shouldn't be in the Supporting category with the movie. I always felt totally indifferent about Hudson on "Idol": She was neither particularly spectacular, nor earth-shatteringly awful (especially since she was only doing Manilow songs on that show), and I never heard anything truly great or in her support before she got kicked off the show. I haven't heard a truly brilliant version of the "I Am Telling You" song since Billy Porter on the original "Star Search" anyway (and that includes the first two seasons of "Idol" with Frenchie and Tamyra), so, she doesn't strike me as really that great. There was nobody that worse than her who didn't deserve to go in her stead, actually. So, it really was much ado about nothing then, and it's a moot point now. Jennifer Holliday has nothing to worry about, and she's got, like, a villa in Germany.
As for Murphy, he'll definitely win the Oscar. It's funny. I was spending some minutes on the BroadwayWorld.com Tony database (Wait...Howard McGillin was nominated for Best Actor for Anything Goes? I didn't know that!") just to verify a fact for my inevitable punchline about him winning an Oscar for this role. I know, I know: Cleavant Derricks won the Tony for the same role in 1982 and went on to "Sliders" and Brooklyn: The Musical. But this is still Eddie, and the theatre world is a vastly different ballpark than Hollywood and the Oscars.
It still won't change anything. The day after Eddie wins the Oscar, he'll go right back to making Daddy Day Care 2: Child Support.
What song is in your head right now?
"Anything Goes." Although I have no idea why...
What music are you currently listening to? It can't just all be showtunes.
You're right. I can't just listen to showtunes all the time. Right now, it's a decidedly mixed bag of Gnarls Barkley, PJ Harvey, Gwen Stefani, Blondie, Garbage, and Chet Baker, just to name a few.
And I kinda started liking Andrew Lloyd Webber. There, I said it.
Why won't you read my emails? And how can I be sure that you aren't reading my emails anyway? How come you didn't see my last one-man show?
Oh, Mr. Zalben. You're asking about the one-night-only Learning Annex class I registered and paid for but couldn't go to because of a family emergency and then got a credit which I never used because I don't give a shit about your real estate expo? Not even the Trump can woo me over to the bad side.
Okay. You all know I'm probably not reading your emails because, if I did, I'd be responding to them. I'm smart enough to know what politeness and common courtesy aren't, so you wouldn't otherwise interpret my not answering them personally as a brushing-off.
As for your one-man show, if it's not personalized or spam, I don't care. I am not seeing it, because it probably sounds as desperate as it looks.
Some people are just sick f*cks any way you slice them.
Would you ever want to be in Les Miserables?
How dare you!
The answer is yes.
You really wouldn't say those things about the cast of Company, would you? You didn't just not love all of them or whatever?
Well, I just didn't not love the show's dark shading. Actually, I've been thinking about how much I really loved that whole show in retrospect, and that goes for most of the cast. Even the woman who played Susan grew on me. I love her now! And knowing she's not really from the South is half the battle.
So what roles do you really want to play?
Oh, my loyal fans (both of you). I will have to get back to you on that one. I'm afraid that's another answer for another blog entry.
And I need to do my hair.
All right, one more question:
What is your take on the Clay/Rosie incident?
What? That is so two weeks ago!
Actually, I have to say that Rosie made a stupid-ass remark, not Kelly. Wait: Isn't Rosie being homophobic just by virtue of making that comment? Why isn't anyone pointing that out?
Well, Clay has never publicly acknowledged that he's gay: A lot of people and the media have, well, by relying on naive stereotypes. He hangs around other men on the beach. He jazz-hands to Barry Manilow songs. He's never actually performed showtunes, but people lump him in that musical category anyway...
So, Rosie's the one relying on naive stereotypes, which actually justifies her own homophobia. And we all know she is a homosexual, because she has publicly acknowledged it as her identity. I know what Rosie meant, but it just won't fly with me as anything less than offensive. And I know what Clay meant, but he shouldn't have been cohosting a talk show in the first place, because that was strictly unprofessional and uncalled-for. He's appeared on television shows in the past where he's had to do everything but sing Manilow and clearly he has no presence or talent for it. Remember when he was on "Saturday Night Live"? Fans, the guy made Ron Reagan look like Buck Henry. And I'm not saying Clay is gay. I'm just saying that he shouldn't be around teleprompters.
What Clay needs to do is come out of the closet, if he's gay, or else what Kelly probably meant will go unnoticed. For all we know, she probably saw him in the bathroom not washing his hands. That's not the only explanation. What Rosie said was still the homphobic remark right there, because she was the one who worked the gay aspect of the stupid "issue" into the "issue" in the first place.
Whatever. I'm not even a fan of any of them anyway.
I know you write about theatre on this blog, but you seem to hate just about every movie you see. What was the last movie you saw? Did you like it?
I saw the quite smashing British comedy Mrs. Henderson Presents. Christoper Guest, Will Young, and lots of bawdy musical numbers? How about, yes, please! It’s a shame they don’t make movies like this in the states anymore. We could use more burlesque.
Why don't you like the saxophone trio in Company? What makes you think you have any right to comment on their playing?
Because I played the saxophone for more than two years in middle/high school band, that's why. And that was some poor-ass fingering!
Okay, I'll be nice about this and say that I don't expect the people in this show to have freaking degrees in their instruments-of-choice (although, according to the Playbill, at least two of them do...). They come from all kinds of backgrounds, and that's what makes the show richer: I have friends who concentrate in opera, drama, musical theatre, and composition, all of whom would be a very good fit for this type of show. Because they know how to play instruments forwards and backwards and wouldn't mind brushing up on that skill if it was in the name of a decent acting role. And the very diverse cast members in Company are certainly no exception to this sort of logic.
But having some of them learn their instruments at the last minute just to make a cute, cheeky song-and-dance number out of it kind of, sort of goes against what this concept is about. All creative people have numerous interests, and, if people were just so obsessed with only acting or singing, they probably wouldn't get anywhere in life. And I can understand why Kelly Grant, who plays Kathy, as well as the woman who played Sarah, would have an easier time learning the alto sax (since a flute essentially has the same fingerings and a much different embouchure) than the other two girls - although what would you make of switching from the violin, oboe, or tuba to something much, much different than those instruments? It could still take years just to get the fingerings right. Let alone how to blow into the thing. Or produce sound. It's still a misnomer in the Playbill. If those women "played" alto sax, then Raul Esparza also "played" the kazoo.
Furthermore, it's a safe bet that the actor who played David, was probably a clarinetist before this. Why? Because he played Ernst Ludwig in Cabaret (after Denis O'Hare, who played the clarinet in the original cast and made it a requirement for all subsequent actors in the Broadway role to learn the same instrument) and it is much easier to transition to both the alto sax (which has the same embouchure) and the tenor sax (which has the same fingerings and key notations). I know because I did. Actually, now that I think about it, Joyce Chittick did a darn fine job playing the alto sax in Cabaret, and she's rocked in other shows where she didn't have to play the instrument. So, why didn't they have the one actor in this show who played the clarinet learn the saxophone, too? Well, it probably wouldn't have looked nearly as sexy as the three girls dancing around with them - AND STILL SQUEAKING OFF-KEY.
Are you going to see Dreamgirls? And, if so, do you think Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, and Eddie Murphy are going to win Oscars?
I knew someone was going to ask this question.
I am waiting to see it, but there's almost no doubt in my mind that it will be my Christmas Day movie: Me being a Jew, and the usual Christmas movies of years past usually turning out to be total dreck (Kate & Leopold, The Phantom of the Opera). I feel, Dreamgirls might be a step up. Those marketing geniuses!
I have been wanting to see the movie. I am sick of the constant hype. And I like Dreamgirls the musical fine. If you asked me if it deserved to split even the 1982 Tony Awards with the fabulously dark Yeston/Kopit/Tune masterpiece, Nine, then I'd say...Yes. Yes, always. When are we going to get a movie version of Nine, anyway? I can't help but feel like Antonio Banderas' performance in the Broadway revival essentially amounted to his big screen test for that role.
As for the Oscars, we'll see about that. I know for a fact they'll probably get nominated, but Hudson might not win. Especially if some out-of-left-field Marcia Gay Harden in Pollock performance comes out of a blue. She probably will, only because the role was considered a lead on Broadway and won the Tony: and she probably shouldn't be in the Supporting category with the movie. I always felt totally indifferent about Hudson on "Idol": She was neither particularly spectacular, nor earth-shatteringly awful (especially since she was only doing Manilow songs on that show), and I never heard anything truly great or in her support before she got kicked off the show. I haven't heard a truly brilliant version of the "I Am Telling You" song since Billy Porter on the original "Star Search" anyway (and that includes the first two seasons of "Idol" with Frenchie and Tamyra), so, she doesn't strike me as really that great. There was nobody that worse than her who didn't deserve to go in her stead, actually. So, it really was much ado about nothing then, and it's a moot point now. Jennifer Holliday has nothing to worry about, and she's got, like, a villa in Germany.
As for Murphy, he'll definitely win the Oscar. It's funny. I was spending some minutes on the BroadwayWorld.com Tony database (Wait...Howard McGillin was nominated for Best Actor for Anything Goes? I didn't know that!") just to verify a fact for my inevitable punchline about him winning an Oscar for this role. I know, I know: Cleavant Derricks won the Tony for the same role in 1982 and went on to "Sliders" and Brooklyn: The Musical. But this is still Eddie, and the theatre world is a vastly different ballpark than Hollywood and the Oscars.
It still won't change anything. The day after Eddie wins the Oscar, he'll go right back to making Daddy Day Care 2: Child Support.
What song is in your head right now?
"Anything Goes." Although I have no idea why...
What music are you currently listening to? It can't just all be showtunes.
You're right. I can't just listen to showtunes all the time. Right now, it's a decidedly mixed bag of Gnarls Barkley, PJ Harvey, Gwen Stefani, Blondie, Garbage, and Chet Baker, just to name a few.
And I kinda started liking Andrew Lloyd Webber. There, I said it.
Why won't you read my emails? And how can I be sure that you aren't reading my emails anyway? How come you didn't see my last one-man show?
Oh, Mr. Zalben. You're asking about the one-night-only Learning Annex class I registered and paid for but couldn't go to because of a family emergency and then got a credit which I never used because I don't give a shit about your real estate expo? Not even the Trump can woo me over to the bad side.
Okay. You all know I'm probably not reading your emails because, if I did, I'd be responding to them. I'm smart enough to know what politeness and common courtesy aren't, so you wouldn't otherwise interpret my not answering them personally as a brushing-off.
As for your one-man show, if it's not personalized or spam, I don't care. I am not seeing it, because it probably sounds as desperate as it looks.
Some people are just sick f*cks any way you slice them.
Would you ever want to be in Les Miserables?
How dare you!
The answer is yes.
You really wouldn't say those things about the cast of Company, would you? You didn't just not love all of them or whatever?
Well, I just didn't not love the show's dark shading. Actually, I've been thinking about how much I really loved that whole show in retrospect, and that goes for most of the cast. Even the woman who played Susan grew on me. I love her now! And knowing she's not really from the South is half the battle.
So what roles do you really want to play?
Oh, my loyal fans (both of you). I will have to get back to you on that one. I'm afraid that's another answer for another blog entry.
And I need to do my hair.
All right, one more question:
What is your take on the Clay/Rosie incident?
What? That is so two weeks ago!
Actually, I have to say that Rosie made a stupid-ass remark, not Kelly. Wait: Isn't Rosie being homophobic just by virtue of making that comment? Why isn't anyone pointing that out?
Well, Clay has never publicly acknowledged that he's gay: A lot of people and the media have, well, by relying on naive stereotypes. He hangs around other men on the beach. He jazz-hands to Barry Manilow songs. He's never actually performed showtunes, but people lump him in that musical category anyway...
So, Rosie's the one relying on naive stereotypes, which actually justifies her own homophobia. And we all know she is a homosexual, because she has publicly acknowledged it as her identity. I know what Rosie meant, but it just won't fly with me as anything less than offensive. And I know what Clay meant, but he shouldn't have been cohosting a talk show in the first place, because that was strictly unprofessional and uncalled-for. He's appeared on television shows in the past where he's had to do everything but sing Manilow and clearly he has no presence or talent for it. Remember when he was on "Saturday Night Live"? Fans, the guy made Ron Reagan look like Buck Henry. And I'm not saying Clay is gay. I'm just saying that he shouldn't be around teleprompters.
What Clay needs to do is come out of the closet, if he's gay, or else what Kelly probably meant will go unnoticed. For all we know, she probably saw him in the bathroom not washing his hands. That's not the only explanation. What Rosie said was still the homphobic remark right there, because she was the one who worked the gay aspect of the stupid "issue" into the "issue" in the first place.
Whatever. I'm not even a fan of any of them anyway.
posted by Gypsy at 11:59 AM
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