No, I didn't die.
Although a brush with a carving knife came dangerously close to taking my own young life tonight.
While I was on blogging hiatus, I took in some time to catch up on some YouTube goodies I missed. For one thing...how did I not know the "DWtS" inaugural civic center national tour had already started! Dude! In case you were wondering, yes, I am watching this season. As a matter of fact, I'm watching it right now. Yes, it's a chintZY recap show. Yes, I already watched last night's performances. Live and on DVR, as a matter of fact. But a rerun of "Dancing" on a weak night still beats any horrendously out-of-touch-with-America's-youth theme night "American Idol" has in store whenever, so all of you Fanjayas can stop spamming me now. It won't get me to watch any day.
Whenever I flip through channels and land on "American Idol," no matter what time it is or what they're doing, it's always the same thing. Some poorly styled twentysomething sings an overproduced version of an already dated song that's either 1. obviously off-key or 2. uselessly ornamented. The scary executive producer in the audience creepily tells everyone to either scream or clap or boo or whatever (usually while he's standing, although it looks like he really hates some of the finalists this year!). And the large black woman on the show is dressed for sabotage, because everyone knows large black women are superior to us in all forms of pop culture, and if they make all of these poor soulless white people sing Motown one week, soul the next, R&B the next, and "Philly Sound" well into next month, they're only going to pick the same three overdone numbers we've all gotten sick of, AND they're only going to look worse.
Anyway, I hate how the judges acknowledge how bad the show itself has gotten over how bad the contestants themselves have gotten. It's a damn shame, when you consider that it really exacerbates how "Dancing with the Stars" is a far superior show to "American Idol," in almost every way. While on "American Idol," the celebrity "guest coach" (which, by the way? WORST IDEA EVER. It's not like they have anything constructive to say besides, "Wow, pretty black girl. You sing a lot better than I ever did!") has to say something to the worst contestants, but it's usually this begrudging acknowledgement of the apparently unfixable. Like, "Yeah, Sanjaya. I have a public image to uphold and can't say anything bad about you, but we're really banking on a train wreck performance of some sort tonight...so I'd be a damn fool to not keep my mouth shut." At least we all knew Jerry could waltz by the end of last season. He was magnificent!
But Sanjaya? They're just not even trying when he's raking in the votes already. If it ain't broke, I suppose. Anyway, Jerry makes them look like rank amateurs.
Here's one thing you wouldn't know about me. I have never seen Chicago. Yeah, that's right. One of my favorite musicals ever and I've only seen the movie version. I've never seen it live in the decade-plus it's been running on Broadway. And I live for Broadway. Still, while I'm happy that Harry and Lisa are going to be leaving the tour to star in it and indulge the Weisslers' stuntcasting whims (and if you are a man truly after my own heart, you'd do student rush with me), I am kind of disappointed that the current Roxie and Billy have to take a mandatory leave of absence. I mean, come on: Lilith Sternin and Freddie Trumper? You people are spoiling me. Now I don't know when I want to see it!
Whatever. Since onetime celebrities who compete on cheesy televised ballroom dance competitions aren't unionized, I figured now would be as good a time as any to post Jerry's surprise guest appearance from the Columbus stop. I plain don't like Sanjaya.
The Kiddies luvz them some Jerrys!!
And while I'm at it, I'll substitute my current gambit for why I don't watch the "Idols" anymore, which many a person who's talked to me recently has heard repeatedly: As far as I'm concerned, James Naughton is the real American Idol. He's even better than Sanjaya.
I just want people to find me by Googling "Sanjaya."
Enjoy it while ya can. I know I mentioned earlier about the unions and all, and how it's really wrong, but I'd be losing my punk rock cred if I didn't post this, what, when the revival of the Living Theatre's The Brig is opening this month. !Viva la Revolutions! I won't do it anymore.
Man, that sleeveless Fosse dancer's got some guns on 'im.
While I was on blogging hiatus, I took in some time to catch up on some YouTube goodies I missed. For one thing...how did I not know the "DWtS" inaugural civic center national tour had already started! Dude! In case you were wondering, yes, I am watching this season. As a matter of fact, I'm watching it right now. Yes, it's a chintZY recap show. Yes, I already watched last night's performances. Live and on DVR, as a matter of fact. But a rerun of "Dancing" on a weak night still beats any horrendously out-of-touch-with-America's-youth theme night "American Idol" has in store whenever, so all of you Fanjayas can stop spamming me now. It won't get me to watch any day.
Whenever I flip through channels and land on "American Idol," no matter what time it is or what they're doing, it's always the same thing. Some poorly styled twentysomething sings an overproduced version of an already dated song that's either 1. obviously off-key or 2. uselessly ornamented. The scary executive producer in the audience creepily tells everyone to either scream or clap or boo or whatever (usually while he's standing, although it looks like he really hates some of the finalists this year!). And the large black woman on the show is dressed for sabotage, because everyone knows large black women are superior to us in all forms of pop culture, and if they make all of these poor soulless white people sing Motown one week, soul the next, R&B the next, and "Philly Sound" well into next month, they're only going to pick the same three overdone numbers we've all gotten sick of, AND they're only going to look worse.
Anyway, I hate how the judges acknowledge how bad the show itself has gotten over how bad the contestants themselves have gotten. It's a damn shame, when you consider that it really exacerbates how "Dancing with the Stars" is a far superior show to "American Idol," in almost every way. While on "American Idol," the celebrity "guest coach" (which, by the way? WORST IDEA EVER. It's not like they have anything constructive to say besides, "Wow, pretty black girl. You sing a lot better than I ever did!") has to say something to the worst contestants, but it's usually this begrudging acknowledgement of the apparently unfixable. Like, "Yeah, Sanjaya. I have a public image to uphold and can't say anything bad about you, but we're really banking on a train wreck performance of some sort tonight...so I'd be a damn fool to not keep my mouth shut." At least we all knew Jerry could waltz by the end of last season. He was magnificent!
But Sanjaya? They're just not even trying when he's raking in the votes already. If it ain't broke, I suppose. Anyway, Jerry makes them look like rank amateurs.
Here's one thing you wouldn't know about me. I have never seen Chicago. Yeah, that's right. One of my favorite musicals ever and I've only seen the movie version. I've never seen it live in the decade-plus it's been running on Broadway. And I live for Broadway. Still, while I'm happy that Harry and Lisa are going to be leaving the tour to star in it and indulge the Weisslers' stuntcasting whims (and if you are a man truly after my own heart, you'd do student rush with me), I am kind of disappointed that the current Roxie and Billy have to take a mandatory leave of absence. I mean, come on: Lilith Sternin and Freddie Trumper? You people are spoiling me. Now I don't know when I want to see it!
Whatever. Since onetime celebrities who compete on cheesy televised ballroom dance competitions aren't unionized, I figured now would be as good a time as any to post Jerry's surprise guest appearance from the Columbus stop. I plain don't like Sanjaya.
The Kiddies luvz them some Jerrys!!
And while I'm at it, I'll substitute my current gambit for why I don't watch the "Idols" anymore, which many a person who's talked to me recently has heard repeatedly: As far as I'm concerned, James Naughton is the real American Idol. He's even better than Sanjaya.
I just want people to find me by Googling "Sanjaya."
Enjoy it while ya can. I know I mentioned earlier about the unions and all, and how it's really wrong, but I'd be losing my punk rock cred if I didn't post this, what, when the revival of the Living Theatre's The Brig is opening this month. !Viva la Revolutions! I won't do it anymore.
Man, that sleeveless Fosse dancer's got some guns on 'im.
posted by Gypsy at 8:14 PM
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